Introduction Letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Christine Ratnam. I’m a student from
class T6 and I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. I
graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic in 2020 with a diploma in digital and precision
engineering, where I learned a wide range of basic engineering skills. Wishing
to advance my studies further, I decided Mechanical Engineering was the next
reasonable step.
My interest in engineering stems from wanting to
make the world a better place for people. This interest started when I learned
about the myoelectric prosthetic hand, which learns to read signals from muscle
contractions to move certain ways. I believe that by innovating and creating
new commodities, we can help people, especially those with special needs, get
through life more easily.
When it comes to communication as a whole, I feel
one of my strengths is my ability to write. In past classes, I was always able
to do reasonably well when it came to writing assignments and I feel I have a
good grasp on the English language as a whole. I feel like my interest in both
reading and writing contributed to this as I was exposed to written language
often. My greatest weakness, however, is verbal communication. Whether it be
strangers or classmates I’ve known for years, talking has never been easy for
me, let alone actually carrying a conversation. I am quite shy and thus talking
to people is quite stressful for me due to my selective mutism.
In terms of this module, I’m hoping to learn how to
verbally communicate more effectively as well as write professional letters as
I feel it would be useful for me in the future. I also hope that through this
module, I can gain more confidence when it comes to talking to people.
Sincerely,
Christine Ratnam
Commented on Xian Sheng's, Suan Ting's and Alexander's posts
Last edited: 22/2/21
Hi Christine, your letter is interesting and clearly written. However, I think that you can elaborate more on the last paragraph to make your letter more complete.
ReplyDeleteHi Suan Ting,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my letter! I have to agree that my last paragraph is lacking in information so thank you for pointing that out!
Sincerely,
Christine
Clear and with relatively little unnecessary words/details. Good grammar, and also got a pretty nice flow.
ReplyDeleteThough I feel further fragmentation would be nice. Like starting a new paragraph from "Wishing to advance..." or from "My interest in..." to name a few.
Dear Shaun,
DeleteThanks for both the positive and negative feedback! I agree that the first paragraph is a bit long. I'll see what I can do.
Sincerely,
Christine
Hello Christine! I really like the way u conveyed your interest in engineering. It feels to me very sincere, and I would like to adopt that mindset as well! Your introduction is clear and complete. I was thinking of maybe giving an example of an innovation that you find interesting or help people and adding it to the first paragraph and what you think about it would help link your interest to your course of study would paint a fuller picture and make the flow more coherent and complete.
ReplyDeleteDear Alexander,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter and for the feedback! You made a good point. Adding an example might help flesh out my interest in engineering.
Thanks,
Christine
Dear Christine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this introductory letter. It's fluently presented and rather informative. Like your classmates though, it leave me wanting more. This post clocks in at around 230 words, which is far short of the expected minimum. If you added detail as to why you feel such stress when you speak with others, for example, or provided info on how your writing has been able to gain such fine fluency, connecting it perhaps to your interest in reading, then the portrait of who you are would more profound.
I look forward to learning more about you this term and hope that overcoming your shyness can be addressed in our module. Please feel free to talk to me after class sometime soon so that we can discuss a plan for assisting you in this endeavor.
Cheers,
Brad
Apologies for the reposting of my comments. I wanted to delete the comment above since it is not complete but I can't seem to find the delete button.
DeleteDear Professor Blackstone,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter. It's true that my letter is rather short as I did not know how to elaborate on certain points. Thank you for the suggestions and the support! I will try my best to open up more in your class.
Sincerely,
Christine
Dear Christine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this introductory letter. It's fluently presented and rather informative. Like your classmates though, I feel that this discussion is just the start: it leaves me wanting more. The post clocks in at around 230 words, which is far short of the expected minimum. If you added detail as to why you feel such stress when you speak with others, for example, or provided info on how your writing has been able to gain such fine fluency, connecting it perhaps to your interest in reading, then the portrait of who you are would more profound.
I look forward to learning more about you this term and hope that overcoming your shyness can be addressed in our module. Please feel free to talk to me after class sometime soon so that we can discuss a plan for assisting you in this endeavor.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Christine,
ReplyDeleteGreat job on writing such a well written letter. I definitely know you better through this letter.
In terms of sentence structure and fluency, you had portray it wonderfully but I felt that you can elaborate more on the letter. With said, I still felt it is a wonderful letter and keep up with it!
I look forward with interacting more with you in and outside of class.
Regards,
Xian sheng
Dear Xian Sheng,
DeleteThank you for the criticism! I agree that my letter is lacking in background information and will do my best to elaborate on my points.
Sincerely,
Christine